dunno where to start from.. aniways.. feel so much better.. but monday blues still there..

mmondayy :: stomach pain due to auntie, went to sch unwillingly. happen to know this unhappie thing which leave me feeling blue for the rest of the day. it's regardin this v good fren of mine who i see her as my younger sis. long story which dates back to last yr. aniways, ma girls and i got into a conflict with this female dog bcuz of that gd fren of mine. all along i knew that she became to be on good terms with that female dog and on monday, i askedd her how did she became so close with that FD so fast. i mean she was the one who got us into trouble with that FD and now she'x all so good with her. den the nx thing i'm puzzled is, i know her since she step into this sch den i dun understand why she could forsake our friendship so easily. the things she said reallie cut deep into my heart. how did she became like this, i didnt noe. after sch i went over to dear's place, companied him to cut hair. he look nicer with shorter hair. *i'm thinkin of cutting my hair too. >.<>.<
todayy :: went to sch, recess time went to find her to talk it over. i know i have no right to ask her not to be frenz with whoever. we had a short talk, i didnt noe wad else to say to her. jus told her to be careful of her frenz. den sch went by smoothly, went home after sch. wanted to go down look for dear den cut hair but end up didnt have enough to cut hair. >.<>
OH! i suddenly rmbed that we went fishing last sat! lols. of course it's me who suggested it. pure fishin no drinkin. =D but we had great fun. it's at the reservior, on this platform thingie which is floating. >.<
mum and dad coming home soon. gotta go bath again. so smelly! =x hope dearie's feeling better. miss u so much! *smooches.

suddenly, feel so fed up.. wanna scream out loud. restricted, lock up in my own world. it'x simple little things that happens which follow on to different thinkings i'm fed with, same reaction. i can only act dumb. little things they do not realised that they are hurting me, little things which i mind so badly. i wanna cry, my emotions running high. i dunno why cant i stay happie always.. i hate these pple who make me feel upset. it'x a love and hate situation and it's killing me. dont they ever realise that i'm hurting too? they seem oblivious towards my change, my behaviour. i'm drifting away from them. dont they ever realise that? sometimes i wonder is my life out to make a joke outta me or am i still the one in control of my life? all these built up in my heart and sometimes i feel, i'm affected in a way that i'm different from before when i treat pple now bcuz of the awful things they make me see in life. it makes me feel so sick of life sometimes. i'm tryin my best to avoid them, tryin to keep them happie but nothing i do is enough to satify them. at the same time, i cant break down. i'm holding on tightly to this love hate relationship we are having and if i break down, i noe it'x the end of us. it's like hanging on to this thin thread, thinkin that if i hang on long enough, miracle will happen. i cant let go, neither can i throw tantrums. my life is up to how i react.
i'm losing it.

a thousand apologies to all those visiting my blog.. haven got time to blog recently plus my stupid comp siao de, blog halfway everything gone..i noe my sweetie girl misses me. =X hahaas. >.< aniways, shall update wad happened last week and this week..
last wk 13 sept, kristie gave birth to baby dymien!!! ^o^ so happie! ben couldnt get his hands off dymien!tat day after my previous entry, quarrelled again with ben. *upset. but after tat we sort things out and he did silly things and it cheered me up. =) been going over to see baby dymien these few days and quite alot of things happened.. (dun wanna elaborate)i forgot when was it we went to eat sakae sushi at the airport and I SWEAR, i wanna go back to eat sakae again! =pi wanted to take a picture of wad the 6 of us ate, it'x SCARY! =x but the waiter has to clear it, the food keep coming.. =Dthis week nothing much happened.. the week went by smoothly for me but i had some thoughts i wanna pen down.
.pussycatdollies - buttons.

i finally could accept pple for who they are and stop being stubborn thinking that life is made to suit me. change myself is what i'm gonna do. =) but for the time being, i jus have to stick with simple me and work hard for o levels.. but after o levels, hees.. ^o^ all hell break lose..
now my first piority is -> studies.
next -> the change.
then -> DANCE!

i noe he will be with me through everything.. *smiles. thank u for everything sweetie.

sians.. tml got chemistry paper nv study.. >.<>

alot of stuffs are weighin on my mind right now.. i think the feeling is gone.. finally and i can talk comfortably to him le.. i used to be very confused over it and after talkin to daphy, i use my own theories to heal my wounds.. =) i hope he will be happie whatever he's doin now.. and even though it's over, it stays as sweet memories.. =)

cant wait for weekends to be here.. xD i wan to learn lan games and i wan to go fisherman village! ^o^

wait awhile.. emergency!

didnt meet him as scheduled.
came home after sch.
jus quarrelled with him.
dunno why suddenly blew my top.
lost my temper, hais.
wo bu zhi dao ying gai ji xu ma..
i'm sorrie bout jus now.
but at least, now i noe,
i cant expect too much from u.

hais.
wo bu zhi dao wo dao di wei she mer hui zhe yang..
*___wohaishihuixiangta+

TODAY IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!

last night i couldnt slp dunno bcuz of wadd and only fell asleep at 3am after reading harry potter, eating some mi gua xi mi lu, smk few ciggies. >.< den woke up at near to 5 and at 6a.35am,35mins after my alarm went off. den rushed through everything and met sxian smk den go busstop. SUDDENLY,i remebered tat i forgot to bring my jacket. THEN,i found out that i forgot to bring my contact lenses too. and i was having my maths paper2 prelims and physics paper2 TODAY! i freaked out.

maths paper was ok, quite disappointing. urgh. even after tuition ytd, couldnt do quite a few sums. AND U NOE WAD! the stupid calculator i bought to sch has EMPTY batteries! darn! i did some of them with mental calculation and left the calculator part till i borrowed one from mrchia(myPEteacher).and i'm darnedd pissedd with my form teacher.mrsYUSOFF.when i told her i didnt bring my contact lenses to sch, she jus shrugged it out and say "wad can i do?" WAH LAU! at tat moment i jus felt like slapping her. argh!

physics totally buang! no need much elaboration ba.. ^^

drew my name on a spare piece of paper turn out quite nice. =D

kristie jus gave birth to a baby boy!! ^o^ ben didnt go sch for his practical exams cuz he's late so he went with his mum to hospital. =) bet her baby's VERY VERY CUTE! hees.aniways, i'm bloggin in sch and jus edited my blog's template. think it's nicer now ba? hees. meetin dear dear later. will blog again.

_____*wishing on that shining star.+

cute without the e (acoustic version) - Taking Back Sunday

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother AngelI know exactly what goes on
When everything you'll get iseverything that you've wanted, princess(well which would you prefer)My finger on the trigger, or(me face down, down across your floor)Me face down, down across your floor(me face down, down across your floor)Well just so long as this thing's loaded
And will you tell all your friendsyou've got your gun to my headThis all was only wishful thinkin,this all was only wishful thinkinlet's go...
Don't bother trying to explain AngelI know exactly what goes on when you're on andHow about I'm outside of your window(how about I'm outside of your window)Watchin him keep the details coveredYou're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)for a sweet talker, yeah
And will you tell all your friendsyou've got your gun to my headThis all was only wishful thinkin,this all was only wishful thinkin(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happensA thousand clever lines unread on clever napkinsI wil never ask if you don't ever tell meI know you well enough to know you never loved me (x3)
Why can't I feel anythingfrom anyone other than you?Why can't I feel anythingfrom anyone other than you?
And all of this was all your faultAnd all of this
(I stay jealous)I stay wrecked and jealous for this,for this simple reasonI just need to keep you in mindas something larger than life(she'll destroy us all before she's throughand find a way to blame somebody else)I stay wrecked and jealous for this,for this simple reasonI just need to keep you in mindas something larger than life(she'll destroy us all before she's throughand find a way to blame somebody else)I stay wrecked and jealous for this,for this simple reasonI just need to keep you in mindas something larger than life!


hees.. both of us love this song.. =)
this is my first post but i wanna keep it short..
i love u baby but sometimes i know i'm unreasonable.
but there's always a reason behind everything.
tats wad i strongly believe.
i hope things will go smoothly between us.
i wan us to last long long too.
reallie miss those long hours i spend by ur side,
day and night.
those laughters we have.
i miss u baby. ^^

new blog, new life.
new things to biatch about.
will blog again tml.
*smooches to darling
hugs to my ke ai girl.
dun think too much.
think of me. =D
wakakakaka!
smooches to u too girl.
stay happie and cheerful always!