suddenly, feel so fed up.. wanna scream out loud. restricted, lock up in my own world. it'x simple little things that happens which follow on to different thinkings i'm fed with, same reaction. i can only act dumb. little things they do not realised that they are hurting me, little things which i mind so badly. i wanna cry, my emotions running high. i dunno why cant i stay happie always.. i hate these pple who make me feel upset. it'x a love and hate situation and it's killing me. dont they ever realise that i'm hurting too? they seem oblivious towards my change, my behaviour. i'm drifting away from them. dont they ever realise that? sometimes i wonder is my life out to make a joke outta me or am i still the one in control of my life? all these built up in my heart and sometimes i feel, i'm affected in a way that i'm different from before when i treat pple now bcuz of the awful things they make me see in life. it makes me feel so sick of life sometimes. i'm tryin my best to avoid them, tryin to keep them happie but nothing i do is enough to satify them. at the same time, i cant break down. i'm holding on tightly to this love hate relationship we are having and if i break down, i noe it'x the end of us. it's like hanging on to this thin thread, thinkin that if i hang on long enough, miracle will happen. i cant let go, neither can i throw tantrums. my life is up to how i react.
i'm losing it.